What People Think... Holding Up the Mirror

I've recently seen the following posted:

While truly a great tongue twister, the actual truth may be w/in the fact "what Susie says..." is said w/ a twisted tongue in the first place; twisted by Susie's own insecurities, self-doubt, and oftentimes very personal self-loathing.

Fact is, Susie unfortunately doesn't like Susie very much in the first place so she lashes out w/ hate, judgement, and bitterness because it's all she knows; it's not really about Sally at all.

Susie is suffering w/in her own pain; and sadly doesn't know how to transcend this suffering/pain in any way other than by creating (or attempting to) misery in/on/at others.

More simply put,

What others say about you reflects moreso on how they feel about themselves more than it reflects the reality of who you really are; their judgement, ridicule, etc. actually speaks of their own self worth or lack thereof.

What Susie actually seeks through her angst/misery is the same thing we all seek; connection/company.

If we are able to recognize this longing/desire for connection in others who lash out at us then we can (even through our own pain) find a place in ourselves of compassion toward the Susies of the world.

We Are ALL A Mirror for Others

All the negative/positive or indifferent we see in others is actually a projection of how we see ourselves.

If we dislike, hate, judge ourselves then we will dislike, hate, and judge the people whom we come into contact.

Attempting to see that another is suffering/in pain, rather than just being hateful toward us, is the beginning of learning to not only have compassion toward them but also compassion for ourselves; this is the origin of loving ones self, and destroys our need to lash out in return because once we practice loving comfort for our own pain/suffering we then (by paradox) have the capability of loving others.

This is how the mirror works; unfortunately most don't/won't acknowledge the mirror any more than they acknowledge their own suffering.

“What other people think of me is none of my business.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

Eleanor Roosevelt was absolutely correct; it really shouldn't be our business.

So, why do we place so much emphasis on what others think of us?

Again, it comes right back around to our need (admitted or not) for connection.

Fact is human beings aren't solitary creatures; we're tribal, and the connections we make w/in our lives define us more than any other factor.

So, by whatever means we can we seek out connection; unfortunately this sometimes means we lash out if we feel our connections are threatened in some way.

The irony of our fearful perception of a loss of connection is our connections are never truly lost; by our own actions we either draw those connections closer, or we push them away.

The only way to draw those connections closer is through understanding/compassion.

Making a negative assumption of another is nothing less than projecting our own negativity on to another. If we can attempt to understand anothers pain rather than allowing their pain to dictate more negativity in return we then transcend into a positive loving/compassionate outlook.

We can ONLY do this by choice; it must be a conscious practice from the heart. Our instinct, our ego, seeks to protect us from the pain/suffering spewed toward us.

When we can recognize it's not about us, and "it's none my business what others think..." then we can enter that heart of compassion by choice and respond w/ love rather than reacting w/ more negativity.

Stay positive. Love yourself and then connection flows freely w/ others through the compassionate heart.