Will there ever be a time when I can just let go and let divine spirit take care of things?
Letting go isn’t as easy for me as I would like for it to be and it certainly isn’t as easy for me as I believe it should be for others around me. In fact it is almost anathema for my spirit; especially in regards to letting go of arguments and disagreements with loved ones and close friends.
I will usually insist that I need closure. Closure, to me, means that I need to know that everything is alright and that I am still accepted and loved after an argument or disagreement. When I don’t get that closure I suffer from feelings of worthlessness and self-pity and that will in turn dig up a whole new feeling of depression and feeling that life isn’t worth the pain that it causes.
No; for those of you ready this, I am NOT suicidal. I consider suicide an absolute cop out and I also consider it to be the ultimate in selfish acts. So no I am not at that point in my life as I refuse to go that route. I would rather suffer through the emotional baggage and learn do deal with it if that is possible. Heck, I am back in therapy after all.
So how do I learn to just “let go” without allowing the action to turn into an emotional indifference? That tends to be the next step for me. I know this because I’ve been there before. Indifference wasn’t fun for me and I still hate the way it made me feel. At heart, I am truly a very loving person and I want to make everything right in most case.
Could it be that this feeling; this need, of wanting to make everything okay be the underlying issue that keeps me from letting go? What a selfish way to act. It’s not all about my desires and my needs others matter too.
Epiphany time?
The answer becomes clear. Love!
So the way to let go and let divine spirit take care of it is to allow myself to LOVE as divine spirit would do.
Maybe the old adage of “Let go and Let God” really should say, Let go and Let Love.
Hmmm what a thought...
In my personal spiritual walk part of the teaching that I subscribe to is that of; Thou art God and Thou art Goddess.
Many of us; within this Pagan path, believe that we are a part of the divine spirit.
If I truly believe this then I need to start acting on it.
For today; I am the God of my conscious and I will Let go and Let Love.
Only time will tell the tale...
As I Breathe,
~C
Sending much love. I can relate in many ways. Hugs and many thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't help when you're also stuck between "let things take their course" and "take charge of your own destiny" type stuff. If something doesn't work the way you wanted, you have to decided whether to file it under "not meant to be" or "try try again". I'd say that's grounds for a nice cup of hot tea and some baked goods . . . ;0)
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